kyle.tv

kyle.tv is closing down for now. I have something new and improved up my sleeve so until then….

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Zebra from circus on loose in downtown Atlanta

From the AJC:

A zebra from the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus is on the loose in downtown Atlanta, according to several eye-witness reports.

The zebra has been spotted all over town — in the parking lot near the Sam Nunn Federal Building, near Centennial Olympic Park and on the Downtown Connector.

I LOVE IT! Only in my city!!!

UPDATE: Some friends caught the Atlanta Zebra on camera!

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I’m sure I can find a use for the iPad. I mean, it’s Apple!

YouTube Direkt

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Have you ever seen the commercials where they’re like “send us a question – any question – and our ‘Special Agents’ will answer right away!” You know what I’m talking about?

Well, I’m a special agent.

YouTube Direkt

One day I was farting around on the internets and I checked out their website. They had a “Special Agent Challenge” quiz where they asked “if I had what it takes.” I couldn’t resist.

Three weeks later, I’m a special agent. I now answer text messages for money.

What kills me is what people write in to ask. The demographic who uses this service must skew hella young because there’s a ton of questions like “Does Bobby love me?” or “Will I ever find the right one?” These are answers I just make up on the fly… “Of course Bobby loves you, you’re great! Ask us anything!”

For questions requiring solid answers, such as “When was Madonna born?” you have to research or utilize their database. You then have to cite the source within their online processing system and you’re good to go. You pick the next question and roll.

I, of course, like to have as much fun as possible with the whole thing. I think, what would it take to get fired from a job like this? So I make my answers less about the money (10 cents for each answered!) and more about a creative exercise.

Here are this week’s favorites:

Question:
What are the problems with infection from masturbating with a toothbrush?

My answer:
There’s no more risk of infection than masturbating with anything else… but at least your vag will be minty fresh! Ask away!

Question:
can a 15 yr old drugie become succesful?

My answer:
Sure, you can become anything you want in life but you might want to start by learning how to spell the word SUCCESSFUL. We’re here for you!

A customer texts back in reply to a previous answer by someone else:
i asked for some christmas drinks which means more than one you stupid fucks

My answer:
There’s Spiced Punch, The Carolling Cup, the Candycane Swirl, and the Cup of Good Cheer… which is sounds like you could use. Text back for recipes!

You get all this for 99 cents! Ask away!

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Things like this just bring laughter to my life. It also proves that kharma is a bitch (although, I don’t know who that’ll prove more true in this case). So don’t be tattle-tailing on your little brother ya’ll!

Guy Posts His Sister’s Hookup List To Facebook… And Tags All The Guys

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Everyone can use a little pick-me-up, especially on a rainy Tuesday morning. Well folks, here’s yours. (I know. A totally mindless post.) But nonethelesss, “Hold On.” Enjoy this blast from the past. I always sort of liked this song but also always thought the blonde chic was a complete spaz.

So spaz out ya’ll. And good Tuesday morning to you.

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Talk about innovation…

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