After a year of praying to whoever would hear me, I finally got called back for a job. It’s a good job too – a Writer/Producer position for Adult Swim. Out of a billion online candidates, I was picked from the pack and invited to pre-screen.

The document they sent me said this:

Pre-Interview Writers Test

Hello.
Welcome to the Adult Swim Promo Writer’s Test.
We are looking for people who get it.
You have one week from the receipt of this document!

Good luck.

——–

“Wow,” I thought, “was that it? How wide open and very Adult Swim.”

The apparent open slate made me anxious and excited at the same time. I knew it could be an opportunity to really shine (or really fuck up). So I thought on it for a couple of days, brainstormed with some friends, and finally decided I’d play them at their own game.

For those of you unfamiliar, Adult Swim has “bumps” throughout their programming. These are simple text snippets – white text on black background – that are funny interactions with viewers. Each line is on a new screen. One example:

Dear Adult Swim,

So last Sunday marked
our 6th anniversary together.

Does that mean
we get to have sex?

[apokarimon]

Dear Apokarimon,

Yeah no.
We broke up
three years ago.

We just didn’t tell you.

[adult swim]

They’re actually quite brilliant at times. So I came up with my own to submit for the writing test:

Dear Kyle,

This is the Adult Swim promo writer’s test.
We are looking for people who get it.
You have one week!

[adult swim]

Dear Adult Swim,

I’m a gay dude.
I get it all the time.
Even more than you do.
See you Monday.

[kylekeyser]

I deliberated whether I should send any other samples along with. I mean, just sending this would be hella bold. But I decided that they’d probably like that. And, I was just trying to get to the next interview – not land the job right off the bat – so why not create a little intrigue?

So I did it. At 4 p.m. this afternoon I proudly sent my 43-word document as the answer to the coveted Adult Swim position. I just knew they’d love it.

At 4:59 p.m. I heard back from the recruiter. How fast! She said:

Thanks. My only question is did you complete the promos on the actual test or did you intend for this to be your completed submission?

I was confused and didn’t know what she was talking about. So I went back and looked at her original email to me. There was only one attachment. So I downloaded it again, double-clicked, and checked it out. Yep, just six lines of text! What else was she talking about?

I stared at the screen and that’s when it occurred to me:

SCROLL DOWN

Oh fuck. I scroll down.

Low and behold, there they are! Six questions – each describing 6 very different episode options – and them asking me to write a 30 second promo for each! I died a little bit inside.

I immediately wrote the recruiter back and made fun of myself – as it’s really all I could do. I told her I didn’t see the 2nd page, that I wish I had a better excuse, and how funny it all was because, actually, I was so proud of my answer! She wrote back with this:

*[sigh of relief]* :)

And said she’d look forward to receiving the rest of my submission.

All I could think to myself was “LORD JESUS CHRIST.” How ridiculously can we be our own worst enemy at times? The universe is definitely conspiring to help me out – if only I’d help myself!

At the very least, she’ll certainly remember me when she sits down with the hiring team.  I think I have no choice but to make this part of the story!

To be continued…